So I’ve been complaining a lot about cell phones, right? It’s not like I’m not out there looking for new plans, you know. At least once a month for the past two years I get online and decide that it’s time to finally improve my phone situation.
So I go to all the cell phone websites, Sprint, T-Mobile, AT&T, and Verizon, and I start comparing plans. And that’s when I start to realize that I have no idea what I’m shopping for. The technology has passed me by, and now I just get cranky like an 80 year-old man that can’t figure out how to get the VCR to stop blinking 12:00.
“What the hell is a SmartPhone?”
“How the hell do I know how much data usage I’m going to need?”
“You mean I can buy unlimited data plans and still not be able to send a text message? I can YouTube all night long without additional fees, but it costs $.20 to send a text?”
“Data Plan for Non-SmartPhone??? I thought that’s what a SmartPhone was! What the hell kind of data are you downloading if you don’t have a SmartPhone?”
“Do I still need text messaging if I’m only texting other people with SmartPhones or can we all just chit-chat via IM or something? Or send two-word emails to each other all day? Am I the only guy around still texting or something? Is there some new version of texting that people are doing that I don’t even know about? Maybe people are just twittering each other all day? That sounds like a euphemism…”
“Who can I ask to explain all this to me that won’t make fun of me?”
“Forget it. Maybe I should just go pre-paid DumbPhone and call it good… There’s only about 1 hour a day when I’m not within arms reach of a computer anyway…”
And that’s where it ends for about a month, until the whole scene repeats itself.
Any other luddites like me out there? And seriously, what’s with this text message thing? Why can you have unlimited data and still not be able to send a text? I don’t really get that…