Office Food

Experienced bloggers using their real names know that the one topic you never blog about is work. Ever.  I’m gonna break that rule here today, and share a couple of food-related items from the office.

First: A Rant

Tuesday is bagel day at the office, which means that our delivery guy stops at the old bagelry and buys a couple dozen bagels. The asiago cheese bagels are always a hot item. Thumbs down to the person that rudely takes the cheese-encrusted tops off two asiago cheese bagels and puts the orphaned bottoms of those same two bagels together as though they are a matched set.

As if someone isn’t going to notice when they pick up a two-assed bagel! As if!

Second: A Humorous Story

The office lunchroom is generously sized, but a little short on counter space. Thus, it is common for people to set portions of their lunches on a table on the other side of the kitchen while they’re microwaving something. Problem is, this table is also used for the distribution of free food items  – the items that someone is giving away for whatever reason. The food placed here is first-come-first-serve. There are nuances governing the placement of food on the table and the likelihood that it is free (food on one end is much more likely to be free than food at the other end), but I’ll spare you the details.

On several occasions, I’ve seen fellow employees place their lunch on this table, then walk 5 feet to the microwave. By the time they come back to retrieve the rest of their lunch, someone else has come along and and walked off with it, assuming it has been placed in the “free” section of the table! LOL. Lunch Burglar!

It’s happened to me, in fact. I once set a sandwich bag containing saltines on the table while I microwaved some soup. I turned around just in time to watch my boss walk out of the lunchroom with my crackers! I had to make a quick decision. Do I chase him down and say, “Excuse me, Sir. There has been a misunderstanding regarding the crackers, and I request that you return them to me.” Or do I just let it go?

What would you do if you discovered that your boss had unintentionally burgled your crackers?

4 comments to Office Food

  • Liz

    I’d totally call him out on it. The only way to start with lunch burglers is to start with the boss. Lay down the law, and let passer-bys see the smack down. Start the no-stealing-lunches revolution!

  • Melanie

    “Two-assed bagel”- LOL! Where do you come up with this stuff?

  • Michael

    You are assuming that the burglary was unintentional. Hmm. I guess that says something about your generous character.

    I worked at a company in California that had a large, shared refrigerator where most people stored their lunch. We had some inconsiderate human being that stole one lunch a day for almost a month. Geez, we’re working at a high-tech software company. Everyone here is paid way above minimum wage. You do not need to steal food to survive.

  • Holly Weik

    You holler, while NOT looking at the boss, “Hey, who took my crackers?” This gives him a chance to say “oh, wow, are these yours?” and save face…