Mel and I were lucky enough to spend this past weekend at a cabin in northern MN with a group of friends and some of their young kids. Naturally, since Mel is all hormonal because of the pregnancy and I’m scared shitless, we spent a good deal of time staring wide-eyed at our friends kids, which ranged in age from a couple weeks to almost 2 years.
I kept asking stupid questions like “Why do babies cry when they’re too tired? Why don’t they just sleep since they’re all swaddled cozily in bed and stuff, and don’t have anything else to do?”
I’ll tell you what: Babies…. I do not think they are too smart. Still, despite their lack of basic language skills, they’re pretty cute.
Anyway, since Mel and I are looking forward to having a little girl, we naturally found ourselves eying the two girls under the age of 2 and asking questions like, “I wonder if our little girl will be anything like these little girls?”
And it was right about that time that we began to realize something. The bar for baby-girl-cuteness has been set pretty high around these parts. … like really high.
“Look at these two girls,” I said. “They’re adorable.”
“Yea,” Mel replied. “They really are.”
“Are you worried about this?” I asked.
“Worried,” she said. “Why would I be worried?”
“We can’t compete with this level of cuteness,” I said.
“Oh, yea. You’re right. There’s a serious gene pool going on here and we’re not exactly a part of it,” she said. “I can contribute chubby cheeks, but that’s about all I’ve got.”
“Yea,” I said. “I think you’re doing your half, but there’s no way that anything that looks 50% like me is going to be this cute. Factor in that half her personality and mannerisms will be stuff she learned from me, and she’s doomed.”
“Right,” Mel said. “…unless people start to think it’s cute to watch a baby sit on the couch in their underwear and burp all day.”
Yikes. I don’t like the sound of that.
Still, we had a great weekend with some friends, and we had a great time getting to know their kids. In fact, I kind of liked them, and I think they kind of liked me too. At least one of them did, anyway. Mostly because I kept slipping her animal crackers when her parents weren’t looking.
Also, my beard makes kids cry. Instantly.