Self-Surgery & Gold Bond

Self Surgery Tip #1

The past week or so I’ve been engaging in a little bit of self-surgery with the old X-Acto Knife.  I’ll spare you the details, but it involves draining a blister that my doctor assures me is nothing to worry about.  So I’m not worrying about it, but I am regularly stabbing it.  Because it’s annoying.  It’s a little gross, but what else can I do?  I can’t very well just be patient and allow my prescriptions to work as they are designed, can I?  No I can not.

Gold-Bond Body Powder
Gold Bond Out of Home Sticker

I hope you’re ready.  This post is about to get a little bit personal.  (you should read this aloud using your best Hank Hill voice). I recently had the pleasure of using Gold Bond Medicated Body Powder (GBMBP) on my man-parts for the first time ever (for a reason entirely unrelated to the self-surgery I’ve been engaging in lately)!  And wouldn’t you know it, but that it was a pleasant experience.  Well, I was previously unaware of this, but it turns out that one-third of the “Triple Action Relief” Gold Bond aims to provide is “COOLING.”  And I’ll tell you what – when it’s as hot and humid as it’s been the past week around here, a little cooling of the man-parts feels pretty nice.  Heavenly.  Know what I’m sayin? Much nicer than filling your drawers full of ice cubes.

12 comments to Self-Surgery & Gold Bond

  • Gold Bons really does make life more bearable during the summer.

  • Bolcheck

    Best Post EVER!!

  • Alright! Looks like there are a few other Gold BonD's fans out there. Maybe we should start a club? Or an online discussion group?

  • I agree with Bolcheck. I think this last paragraph is one of your best!

  • @Melanie – well, thanks. I suppose i'm not surprised that a paragraph about my man-parts gets you excited.

  • Ren

    So… where is the blister?

    I figure that can't possibly too personal a question given that you've just blogged about powdering your cajones.

  • My husband has a song he sings about Gold Bond powder. I think it's from a YouTube video – he said the guy that made it is Mormon. I can't find it, though.

  • @Ren – Jeez, there are some things you just don't talk about!!

    @Darcey – well if you ever find it, don't be afraid to pass it along.

  • Haha… I'll have to notify the man in my life of your review of Gold Bond powder. I love the picture, by the way.

    P.S. (Semi-unrelated anecdote:) One time my husband wanted to "perform surgery" on himself, which really just involved suturing up his own leg when it was sliced open at his construction job. My job was to take pictures and try not to throw up. Last time he tried it, I went out and bought him super glue. Worked better than a needle and thread and actually stayed close.

  • @Sassy Sarah – ugh… i think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

  • marla

    oh man. five stars. love it. laughed out loud several times.

    man parts!