How (not) to Warm your Cold Fingers Poll

I won’t explain the exact circumstances that inspired this post, but yous guys are pretty smart, so you can probably figure it out. You know how completely awful it is when someone touches you with their icy cold fingers – hoping to steal some of your warmth? You know how you shriek and scream when a loved one intentionally presses his or her frigid fingers against your bare skin around your waist? Or the worst – when you feel completely betrayed by a spouse or loved one when they climb under the bed covers with you and selfishly use your warm skin to try and warm their icicle toes?
I suspect this single act alone has destroyed more marriages than anything else – there is no forgiveness that can overcome this ultimate act of selfishness. And yet it’s so tempting to try and warm your cold fingers against the balmy skin of a spouse’s mid-section!
What if there’s a loophole? What if the warm-skinned spouse is asleep? What if you can steal some of their warmth without them ever finding out because they’re asleep???? It’s risky, sure – what if they wake up (oooh, what an awful way to be stirred from sweet slumber)? But if they don’t wake up, then it’s a perfect situation for both of you. Right? ….right? or is it still cruel?
In the left sidebar, you’ll find a poll. I’d like to know if you think it’s acceptable to warm your hands or toes on a loved one’s bare skin if they’re asleep (or in a coma or something) and won’t ever know. Also, comment below and let me know what you think.

11 comments to How (not) to Warm your Cold Fingers Poll

  • Anonymous

    Impossible. No one sleeps through that.

    And, I reserve the right to shuffle my feet on carpet for 10 straight minutes while wearing my rubber insulated boots in order to build up a massive static charge and then place my electrified finger of death on the nose of a sleeping person who does attempt to leech my heat while I am sleeping.

  • Anonymous, Identify Yourself!

  • As long as I'm sucking the heat off the other person I'm totally fine with it. When the tables are reversed it is not permitted.

  • hmmm… something about this post seems very familiar…
    You may not be surprised to hear that I agree w/ you- it would be an awful way to be stirred from sweet slumber! That leaves me to question how you could ever be sure you won't wake the sleeping beauty?

  • Having a poll is one slippery step away from having a quiz that lets me find out which teenage mutant ninja turtle I am most like.

  • Haha… my husband and I joke around about this nearly every night. You see, we try to use the heat as little as possible in our apartment in order to keep our heating costs down. This leads to many a frozen toe. It's so easy to want to cuddle up and warm up our feet. We've come to an agreement that we can use each other's bodies for heat, but only specific places that won't cause too much discomfort. For example, placing a foot strategically under a leg isn't so bad as trying to warm my hands on his stomach.

  • Anonymous

    Electric warming blankets can be expensive depending on the size (King size = $85 if you're lucky) but they allow you to turn your thermostat down and also make it so that you don't have this problem.

  • David is well aware that I married him for some very specific reasons. He plays the piano, earns the big bucks, and gives me his warmth whenever and wherever I need it. It's part of the marriage contract. Ladies, we need to protect ourselves and get this important stuff in writing!

  • Lisa – enough of that sort of talk. What's next? Trying to unionize all the ladies? NEVER!

  • Sundar

    Unions are implied in their gender.

  • Mmm. Sundar. Cryptic.

    I don't get it.