A lot of people have been asking me about my training course for the upcoming marathon in October. I’ve been a little hesitant to give out any details because I’m still waiting to hear back from a few publishers I’ve contacted about possibly writing a book about my marathon training tips. I can’t wait any longer, however. I’m just going to lay it all out. Here is Reuben’s Guide to Marathon Training:
1. Sign up for a marathon hoping that it will make you feel financially and socially accountable, which will encourage you to train more.
2. Realize that this doesn’t work.
3. Battle with depression and self-image issues.
4. Overcompensate for lack of regular training by pushing too hard during sporatic exercise sessions.
5. Decide that the old rule “stretch before you exercise” is for sissies.
6. Pull a groin muscle, which will render you unable to train for at least 3 weeks.
7. Continue battle with depression and self-image issues.
8. Give up, go to Old Navy, and buy bigger pants.